"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD

So confused

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Both my mind and my body are completely confused and I am not a fan of the unknown. This is just going to be a partially gross post, just FYI. 

Thursday I had some EWCM with some brown spotting in it. I secretly hoped it was implantation bleeding. Timing would have been right except for the fact that I have had consistent negative OPK’s. After having that brief glimmer of hope I dismissed it because, really, what luck have I had lately? Fast forward to Saturday where I passed the biggest clot I had ever seen. It actually fell out of me when going to the bathroom. It was huge and I was only on CD22. I NEVER have mid-cycle bleeding and now I am seeing the biggest clot of my life!? I know it’s disgusting but I retrieved said clot and took a picture of it to show the RE. Today is Tuesday and I am still spotting but other than the clot I haven’t had any noticeable bleeding so I am still confused as to if I should count Saturday as CD1 or continue counting with the previous cycle. My body is confused as to what is going on with all this spotting and my head is about to explode from trying to figure out what the fuck is happening. 

Other than that I am frustrated that the new jeans I ordered are still too small for me to feel comfortable in. I can get them on but they give me a nice little muffin top. I can still wear them with some shirts because you wont be able to tell but it still sucks that I am apparently in between sizes. Day 75 weigh-in and measurements are this Friday. We will see what they say…

23 days till the RE appointment. Can’t get here soon enough!

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