"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD

My little active baby boy


21 weeks 2 day. 131 days to go.

For about 2 weeks know I have confirmed that what I have been feeling is in fact, movement. I am pretty impressed that I started feeling him around 18 weeks, especially since I have an anterior placenta. It’s been awesome to be able to know that he is still thriving with every couple of days noticing that the movement is getting a little stronger. It’s really breath taking. I find myself smiling when I feel him move and kick even when I am by myself or in the middle of a conversation. People probably think I am crazy but whatever, I have waited so damn long for this I couldn’t care less. 

Today I got to feel him move for the first time while I was standing up. Normally it is just when I am sitting or laying down but I actually felt him while standing which was pretty cool. I am also pretty lucky in the sense that he is quite active which allows me to not freak out often. There are still days where he doesn’t move too much and I get nervous but if I lay on my back or eat something sweet I can usually get him to move just to let me know he is ok. 

Now if we can just get to the point of being able to feel him from the outside. E is dying to feel him and tries every single night. It’s pretty sad that baby boy will be moving like crazy and E can’t even feel it. Stupid anterior placenta! I really hope that it won’t be too much longer. It’s such an incredible feeling and I feel selfish that my husband hasn’t been able to experience it yet and I have. Plus, I am dying to see the look on his face when it actually happens 🙂

Just 10 days till I get to see this little boy again and I can’t wait. There are so many aspects of being pregnant where I can’t wait for it to be over. I am still so nervous that something is going to go wrong and since we aren’t in the ‘viability’ window yet it is just nerve wrecking. I don’t think I go a day without worrying. Not to mention I just want to hold my baby in my arms. However, there are other aspects where I don’t want this to ever end. I am not sure if we will ever be able to have a second child so I want to savor all of these milestones and feelings. I want to be able to remember every thing that happens and how I felt. Blogging has been so amazing for that. I have been taking blog entries and putting them into a shutterfly photo book along with ultrasound picture, how we revealed we were pregnant, how we revealed we were having a boy and plan to put our shower invites with pictures and then a final page of our new baby boy with whatever blog my first blog entry is after he is born. It’s so awesome, even now, going back and reading what happened on the day of our successful IUI, how I felt the exact moment I got the BFP at home, what it was like experiencing our 7 week ultrasound and hearing that amazing heartbeat for the first time and so on. To see pictures along with the stories is going to be something so special.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and an easy week ahead of you. 


4 thoughts on “My little active baby boy

  1. So sweet, I can relate to this post so much We are very close in terms of timing (21w6d) and I have been so moved by his little kicks and jumps that I want them to last forever. But I still definitely feel scared too. Wishing you a happy restful pregnancy! xx

  2. That’s the coolest feeling ever! I hope E can feel it soon too. Hubby had only felt it a few times and wasn’t really sure that it was the baby until Friday night we were laying in bed and he was talking to her. She kicked him hard on the hand. I thought he was going to jump out of his skin he was so excited!

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