"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD


18 months


I am not sure how we have both survived to make it to a year and a half. What a crazy 18 months this has been and we are still just getting started. You have become quite the opinionated little boy which has led to some very heated “discussions” between me, you and your father. I love that you are so head-strong, it will be such an advantage later on in life, but teaching you that you can’t always have your way has been a challenge.

You have come such a long way in the last three months; you now know 5 words (dada, mama, uh-oh, more, and go) and you can make car and elephant noises. You are now RUNNING, dancing and throwing any type of sports ball. You have mastered magnetic puzzles and love stacking things. Daddy started giving you bubble baths and they are by far your favorite… just last night as you ran your naked butt into the bathroom for your bath you grabbed the bottle of bubbles and demanded that they be put in. You still love giving the dogs their afternoon snack but now you are able to give each of them one when I say their names instead of giving them all to Odin.

We have had two foster dogs in the last two months and you still amaze me with how much love you give to animals. Each one you have loved and have been so gentle with. Who knows, maybe one day you will decide you want to work with animals? Either way, I know they will always be a part of your life.

While I still believe you are an introvert (like me) you are starting to come out of your shell a little in public, especially if there are other children around. I won’t lie; I still love when you cling to me for dear life when we go out somewhere new with people you don’t recognize. I know one day soon you are going to not even give me a second glance as you run off to t-ball or basketball practice but as of right now, it’s still perfectly fine with me that you need your mom.

You also still let me rock most nights. We have had a lot of rough days filled with screaming, tantrums and attitudes lately but honestly, those few moments before you tell me you’re ready to go in your crib make everything else melt away. After your bath, bottle, playing, brushing your teeth, massage, pj’s, and as many books as you can get away with I turn out your lamp and we rock. I ask you if you want me to sing and most of the time you say yes. I still sing “goodnight sweetheart” as you rest your head against my shoulder. Each night I want to freeze that moment in time. It’s as if we are both being reminded of just how much we love each other and how much we both need one another. It is my little slice of heaven that I look forward to each and every day.

I think we can officially say we have a toddler. It seemed to have snuck up on us but here we are. We love all of your antics and the hilarious facial expressions you make (that you surely learned from your father). We love your compassion and energy. We love everything about you and who you are becoming.

Thank you for being our little boy.