"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD

21 months

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A few days late but 21 months none-the-less!

Grant,

This is my last letter to you before you turn 2. How on earth is that possible? I feel like I say this every time, but the last three months you have seriously exploded in every aspect of your life. You are so much more independent (for example, you have decided that you can walk yourself into daycare and don’t need to be carried), you continue to be so expressive, and your vocabulary has gone into overdrive.

I can’t believe just a few months ago we were slightly worried about your lack of words. You have at least 30 words and phrases now and you have the cutest voice I have ever heard. The way you say “thank you” gets everyone swooning. “Puppy” is another one of my favorites. You LOVE pointing out birds on our morning walk but you call them “bee’s” right now which is adorable.

You have also become quite opinionated and must have a say in what we are doing. At night while we are getting ready for bed and reading our books you will stand in front of your ever growing selection and say “ummmmmmm” as you ponder which one you want read next. You must have a choice in what you’re eating (even if you keep your options very limited) and you absolutely MUST be able to use a fork.

We started putting you on the potty around 20 months just for fun and we created a monster. We thought that allowing you to watch your favorite youtube shows (muppets and elmo’s world) while you were on the potty would help encourage you to like it. Well, it worked a little too well since now you ask to go on the potty 8-10 times a day even if you don’t actually have to go. So that is still a work in progress.

We have been contemplating putting you into a big boy bed but I am just not ready for that. You are so good in your crib and haven’t even attempted to climb out. You are still waking up between 5:30 and 6 in the morning but you happily lay there and cuddle with your pillow and blankets until I come to get you at 7. I love that you love your bed.

You are still obsessed with cars but mostly just the real ones. You could spend a good hour playing in my car pushing all the buttons and making car noises and be happy as a clam. We have been talking about getting you a power wheels for your 2nd birthday and I can’t wait for you to have a car of your very own!!

You continue to amaze me with your mood swings and strong personality. We have had a few instance of biting over the last couple months at daycare and one day your behavior was so poor that your teacher actually wanted to talk to me about it away from all the other kids. We now have had a talk every morning about being nice to our friends, not biting, and listening to your teachers. You have really improved. I know it won’t be the last bump in your behavior but we made it through that first hurdle. You still love throwing temper tantrums at home which most of the time I find comical as you just look so cute stomping your feet and screaming.

There are days where I feel like I have failed at parenting because you did nothing but scream, hit, not listen and throw things at me. Those days are trying. They are HARD but they are part of being a parent and I can’t tell you how much I love being your mother. I never thought I could be so proud of someone else’s accomplishments, no matter how small, or how your smile and laugh could brighten any of my darkest days.

I know it’s going to feel like I blinked and you will be turning two. I wish nothing for the best in these next three months. You are the light of my life and the reason I keep breathing. I love you more than anything in this entire world.

Love, Mommy

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