"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD


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I feel like an addict who just scored a hit and I have an odd high along with the associated disappointment.

Before it happened I had butterflies in my stomach and a weird jittery feeling.

What am I talking about? Peeing on sticks. Yup. Ugh.

Today was day one of OPK’s and this is not something I have had to do with my other IUI’s at my previous clinic. I haven’t peed on a stick since November and all the feels came crashing back… and this was a damn OPK. Not even an actual pregnancy test.

I seriously think there is something wrong with me some days. I had the biggest pit in my stomach as I awaited the results. The funny thing is that I knew it wasn’t going to be a positive because my follicle size yesterday showed that I didn’t have any mature follicles yet and still… my body reacted as if it wasn’t my own.

This is the start of a long recovery. Once I start peeing on things it just doesn’t stop 😉

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