"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD

Time is standing still

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Why is it when you dread something it seems to be upon you in no time and when you’re looking forward to something, it takes forever?

Time feels like it is absolutely standing still. It’s just not moving. All I want to know is if we have a growing baby groot (our affectionate name) and a beating heart. By this time next week I will know. Friday at 8am can’t arrive soon enough.

We don’t have a lot of things planned this weekend and next week my meeting schedule is fairly light which means the next 6.5 days are going to be torture.

I will be 6 weeks tomorrow and some days I have symptoms (which I love) and other days, like today, I feel nothing (which is terrifying). I should be ok with this since the same thing happened when I was pregnant with G but I’m not. It’s still so scary in the beginning. You work so hard to get to this point and then the utter fear settles in and holds on.

I have taken more pregnancy tests than I care to admit and still have at least 2 that I will be taking before my ultrasound. I just need to see that line dark and not getting lighter.

I can’t believe it’s only been 2 weeks since we found out our 5th IUI worked… that’s just crazy. I find myself daydreaming of how we are going to tell our families and feeling the baby move and while I try to keep a realistic view on things I also let myself enjoy. I haven’t bought anything yet or made any specific plans but it’s so nice to think that all of this could be coming true.

Please send some good thoughts that this next week will fly by!!!


One thought on “Time is standing still

  1. Yeah the time between scans seems to take forever unfortunately! It’s like the two week wait all over again. Hoping you’ll have a great scan on Friday!

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