"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD

Results and next steps


It’s amazing what you can get done when you subtly threaten to run something up the food chain. A few days ago I spoke about how angry I was about not receiving my genetic testing results in a timely fashion due to my doctor being on vacation and them not having a covering doctor in place to simply read results. I was determined to write a strongly worded email to whoever ran this clinic but I couldn’t find a list of names/emails on their website. I decided to let myself cool down and since I was going into the clinic yesterday (Thursday) for my next HCG blood draw I would ask.

I walked into the clinic right as they opened and all 3 receptionists were there (2 of which were the ones who called me on Tuesday). I checked in and calmly asked for the name, number, and email for whoever ran the clinic. The one receptionist who I did not talk to on Tuesday was very cheery and gave me what I wanted. That was it, I didn’t say anything else but the two other receptionists kept looking over at me while I was waiting to be called back. I was taken back, blood drawn, and left without issue and was home by 8:45 am.

At 10am I get a call from the clinic. It was my nurse who said she got ahold of Dr. B and wanted to know if I was available to talk with her now. Absolutely! We hung up and 2 minutes later Dr. B calls… It’s sad that it took me being so upset and asking for information for this to happen. This was definitely not a coincidence. Regardless…

I had a perfectly normal girl.

There was no genetic reason as to why I miscarried. I was honestly hoping for something genetically wrong, now I just feel like I did something. We talked about the possibilities of there being something weird with my uterus or that I have certain antibodies that could have caused a clot in the placenta. So essentially Dr. B wants to do an outpatient procedure to review my uterus for a septum or any polyps that could have caused me to lose the baby. However,  we have so many options on our next course of action:

1) Wait 3 months to see if I have the particular antibody that could have caused a blood clot in the placenta and do the above mentioned procedure. Whether I wait and have the test and do show a positive for this antibody or skip the test she would still put me on a medication (Lovenox) as if I did have it. **we don’t want to wait and since she would put me on the medication regardless, this isn’t going to happen** 

2) Do the procedure, if nothing is wrong do 1 more IUI and then move to IVF. If something needs to be fixed, I’d have to wait a month and then we could do 1 more IUI and then move to IVF. **this is an option however this would put us into the new year and we have already met our deductible**

3) Move right to IVF. I can start stimming as soon as I get my period back and we could do the retrieval/fertilization, then freeze them. Then do the procedure and see if anything needs to be fixed. If it does we can do it and wait the month. If it doesn’t then we can prep for transfer and we should be able to fit it all in this year.

Considering we have met our deductible, only have about $1,700 left on our coinsurance, and we have two full IVF’s covered on our insurance… option 3 is what we are going with. Even if it costs us $5k to do the IVF it’s way better than waiting until next year where it would be a minimum of $11k based on deductibles and out of pocket stuff.

We have started the prior approval process with our insurance, the consent forms have been emailed to me, and we have our injection class scheduled for Tuesday. Today marks 3 weeks from the D&C and I am hoping to get my period back in the next week or 2. However considering my HCG levels are still not at zero (yesterday they were 9.7) that may not happen.

I have barely begun to process the fact that our little girl had nothing wrong with her and to be honest it may take me a while. It doesn’t seem possible that we don’t have an explanation for what happened and my mind doesn’t want to accept that as reality. I am sure one day soon it will hit me like a ton of bricks and I will have to fully deal with it but right now that is just not happening.

4 thoughts on “Results and next steps

  1. Before you beat yourself up–there are things they cannot test for. They can’t test for every possible scenario–all they can reasonably say is that the potential issues they tested for were “normal”. So don’t beat yourself up, especially since you’re diving right into IVF and it would be best to be at peace with your body. Again I’m so sorry for your loss and hope that IVF goes smoothly for you. XO

  2. I agree with mlacs. I’m really sorry you didn’t get a solid answer though. I know that would have given you much more peace. I’m so sorry you lost your baby girl.

  3. I’m so incredibly sorry 🙁 You’re incredibly brave to get back up and I hope every day gets easier. I agree with the previous 2 comments, the tests only look for large chromosomal structural abnormalities, and unfortunately can’t give you a complete answer. You did what you could to the best of your abilities – it’s not your fault! Thinking of you so much 😗

  4. I’m sorry you got that result and still no real answer. There are just so many unknowns it seems. I’m glad to hear you have a plan you are happy with for moving forward. Take it one day at a time. Thinking of you.

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