"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD

3 and a half years old

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G,

Three and a half. Wow. Every day you are more a kid and less a baby. I try and find the little things that still make you baby-ish; your giggle, the way you still need my help on certain things, how you stretch on the odd morning that I actually get to wake you up, or your little hands that will gently caress my face when you’re being sweet. Then I marvel at all the things that make you so grown up already; you get yourself dressed most mornings, put your shoes on, play independently, put your dishes in the sink, go potty by yourself, tell me I’m pretty when I put make up on or that you love my nails when they are painted, or simply talk my ear off with your exquisite imagination. It’s such a different world these days and I love it all.

With getting older comes the tantrums… you’re learning that throwing a fit will not get you what you want. That doesn’t stop you from trying though and you are still just as strong willed now as you were when you were a baby only now you are able to use your words to help your persuasion. It’s adorable and frustrating all at the same time. We hold strong though and I hope it’s sinking in. All we can do is hope that we are teaching you the lessons you need in life to become a productive member of society and not one of these spoiled entitled brats in today’s world.

You’re thriving at school and we practically never have an issue at drop off anymore. I’ve had one parent-teacher conference and you’re doing well. We still have issues with colors but you’re recognizing shapes and counting well. Recognizing numbers and letters are also a work in progress but you know your birthday and your full name. You’re also learning mommy and daddy’s name which I can only imagine is confusing. I registered you for Pre-K this fall and I just can’t believe it. Before I know it, you’ll be off to college.

Your world is about to be upturned yet again in about 2 months. You’re going to be a big brother! Telling you I was having a baby was fun. The first couple months we kept it low key and tried to explain to you what was going on. You didn’t really understand and kept telling us you had a baby in your tummy too. It was so adorable; you’d lift up your shirt and ask me to feel your baby kick. I believe that you are now understanding a bit more… we’ve got the nursery almost all set up, got the new stroller, and have a few baby items coming in. When we tell you something is for the new baby you tell me that he isn’t here yet and he’ll come out soon. I can’t wait to see you with your new little brother. The adventures are only going to grow from here.

You also started your first team sport this spring! We gave you the option of soccer or baseball and you chose soccer. The first day was a little rough… we tried hyping you up and you seemed genuinely excited but once we got there it was a different story. You still get overwhelmed very easily and I think it was just too much to take in at first. The screaming and crying was a lot but you eventually did get out there with daddy and really enjoyed it! The second practice was much better and you only got nervous when the coach talked with you directly. It’s a very short “season” so we only have a few more practices but I think it’s just going to take time for you to mature and grow in order to adapt to new things with fewer issues. Maybe this fall or next spring we can try baseball.

I can’t believe the next letter I will be writing you is when you’re 4 years old. Seems almost impossible!! I love you so much and am so proud of the little boy you are becoming. The possibilities in front of you are endless and I hope you continue to grow and seize as many as you want.

-Mommy

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