"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD

Dear Little Girl

3 Comments

Dear sweet girl,

Tomorrow is your due date. It’s been 231 days since we got the news that your little heart rate was too low, 225 days since we learned your precious heart stopped beating, and 224 days since you were physically taken from my body.

I think about how different my life would be right now had everything turned out ok… I would have a fully decorated girl nursery waiting for you, a whole new set of adorable girl clothes, bows, headbands… the list is somewhat un-imagineable. Instead, I am preparing your older brother for the arrival of your younger brother. I have a boy nursery started and all of G’s old clothes filling the dresser. I don’t need anything girly.

You would either already be here in my arms or I would be awaiting your arrival with bated breath. I wish so badly that you were here but I also can’t picture it. I can absolutely picture what you would have looked like but I can’t physically picture you in my arms. Does that mean that you were never truly meant to be here with me on earth? I have no idea. I look at your beautiful heartbeat that is hanging above our bed each morning and night and think about you. Some days I wonder what could have been but each night I thank you for sending us the miracle of your younger brother who is kicking me from the inside as I type this. I truly believe that you were the one who sent him to us. For that, I will be forever grateful.

So, my sweet girl. I hope you know just how much I love you. You gave us hope. You gave us love. You gave us the gift of completing our family and know that you will always be my one and only daughter.

I love you

-Mommy

3 thoughts on “Dear Little Girl

  1. This was the cutest letter!!! 💗💗

  2. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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