"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD

Where we’re at now


So it’s been 6 and a half weeks since L was born. Talk about crazy… It seems to have gone so fast yet it’s hard to imagine life prior to his arrival. Maybe that’s because I am so tired that it seems like he’s been with us forever LOL – all joking aside, the time has really gone quite fast.

I had really hoped my breastfeeding journey this time around would be better than the first however I still have the same problem: My body simply does not want to produce. Sometimes first thing in the morning I can get 2-2.5 ounces total but each subsequent session I only get about an ounce. And that is with being on the maximum dose of domperidone. Needless to say, we are supplementing with formula. I made it 9 days of breastfeeding alone but by day 9 he was still not gaining weight and was down almost a pound from his birth weight so I had no choice. It doesn’t bother me one bit that he’s on mostly formula, I am just disappointed that my body continues to betray me, even after his conception ((does that feeling of defeat ever go away after infertility?)).

He’s an overall great baby. From day 2 he has only woken up once or twice at night and at 4 weeks I transitioned him from the rock and play in our room to the crib in his room. He’s on a pretty good schedule too and gives me good happy awake times between naps. He has his issues with bedtime but once he is actually down for the night it’s pretty good. I am exhausted though. I typically get 3-4 hours of sleep before he wakes and then 2-3 more after he goes back to sleep and wakes up for the day. Never enough to get into good deep sleep. I am hoping E agrees to take a night for me soon. I would absolutely love a full night.

I have 5 weeks left of maternity leave and it feels like it’s going to go in the blink of an eye. I am no where near ready to go back to work and send him to daycare. The thought makes me shutter but I know it’s be here before I know it so I need to mentally prepare now.

I feel like there is so much more I could update on but I really should get to bed while I can. I will update more soon!


Newborn photo shoot – 12 days old


5 thoughts on “Where we’re at now

  1. He’s precious. 🙂 I love his hair.

    Regarding the feeling of defeat post infertility, it’s weird… Even after 2 natural pregnancies, I still feel that brokenness in the back of my mind. I was literally just thinking about that today… That I need to let go of that feeling!

    I’m glad you all are doing well. I wish breastfeeding would have worked out better for you since that’s what you had hoped for. I’m glad you are getting baby fed though, one way or another! He looks very beautiful and healthy. 🙂

  2. Love your baby picture! Way to go mama–you are doing your very best and you have a happy healthy baby! You are winning, even though you probably cannot taste the sweet victory because you are exhausted and inundated with hormones. XOXO

  3. Aw he’s adorable! Congratulations!

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