"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Motherhood after Infertility and Parenting a child with ASD


Ready for the dreams to stop

I am tired. I may go as far as to say I am exhausted. I think I am catching E’s cold, so that may add to me feeling so run down but my main complaint is these damn dreams. Almost every night I have at least one dream of me losing the pregnancy. Last night was like a horror show… blood everywhere. Me screaming for E. Not being able to tell him what was going on because I was just so upset and he couldn’t understand where all the blood was coming from. It was horrible.

Each time I have one of these dreams I wake up so startled and either a) run to the bathroom to make sure everything is still ok or b) lay there and cry because it felt so real that sometimes I actually think it happened and I was reliving a memory instead of it being a dream. Needless to say, sleep is no where on my mind after that. I find that if I take one tylenol PM the dreams aren’t as bad and I can get a little more sleep but I don’t want to take it every night. 

I understand that dreams are a way of your brain working out your worries, concerns, things you experienced throughout your life and whatnot but I really hope that after I am safely out of the first trimester these types of dreams will stop. I can’t imagine being plagued with this type of fear for the next 6.5 months.

Only 14 days until my 12week 3day ultrasound… here’s hoping it is here in no time!!